Those Days

You know those days.

The days where you switch between wanting to do everything and wanting to do nothing. Starting projects and never finishing them. Not wanting to do what you want to do.

Those days when I'm tired of feeling, wanting this blog post to be the right blog post, but, how do I do that?

I'm having one of those days. Moody. Tired. Indecisive.

And I can throw myself into some activity and manage to scrounge up some energy, but the hole of tiredness still lurks under the surface.

I never like these days. Dreary. Indecisive days. Nothing much to do. Except the things I want to do, which I don't actually want to do.

Where is God on these days?

Because, I'm tired of hearing those messages of how I'm loved and not believing them.

I can say I'm forgiven and work up the emotion, but I'm tired.

I'm wondering, today, if maybe it's not about working up the emotion.

Maybe it's about not snapping at people just because you're in a funk. Maybe I can have faith that God forgives me even when I don't work up all the emotions I think need to go with it. Maybe I need to look at what those days are, what they do to me, and then work through them. Work through the moods.

Because, I think we all know that doing whatever you want whenever you're in a funk doesn't usually fix things.

After all, these are just feelings. Today's just been a rainy day. I feel weird, and I've been kind of snappy with people. Today I'm loved by God. And, I can trust in that without needing to work up a bunch of feelings, but to trust in His love by giving my feelings less of my time.

I think it's time to give my feelings less of my time and priority, and to use today for good and love even when I think today's a dud day.

~Rebecca P.